I had a very interesting discussion on today’s show with Canadian, Julie Starr from PossibilityCoaching.net. Her focus is on ‘life coaching for women’. We discussed the importance of ‘standing in one’s power’. To speak truthfully, confidently and knowing one’s importance in the world. It didn’t take long for me to realize that these attributes are important for every individual, women and men. Yes, women sometimes have to give this more attention because they are often pulled in many directions. The demands of work, family, spouse and societal expectations make it easy to push aside their needs and desires. But we all get side-tracked from time-to-time and forget to take care of ourselves and enjoy some of  the comforts that life offers.

We discussed many ways to practice self-care.  (the complete list can be found in an article on Julie’s website) A several key principles that I found practical and easy to apply are:

  1. Less is more – Sounds a bit odd but the idea that less clutter in your life, both mentally and physically, can provide the freedom and space to be more creative, effective and happier. Take a little time each day to ‘clean house’ so to speak.  Get rid of junk in a drawer, closet or kitchen.  Also get rid of some of the junk running through your brain.  The negative thoughts, self-judgment, depression, anxiety or fear.  Toss it – delete it! Do a little at a time each day – and if for some reason a day goes by when you don’t de-clutter – don’t beat yourself up!
  2. Let it be…Let it go – I’m reminded of the word’s of the Serenity Prayer “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference…” To accept and LET GO of the things I cannot change. So much time and energy is wasted trying to control the uncontrollable. Worrying about a future event that may not occur, or reliving a negative past experience and keeping it alive in the present. What’s done is done! I know very well that it can be difficult to ‘let go’.  It is sometimes easier to ‘hold on’ to what we know even if it makes us miserable.  Why?  Because we know what to expect and how to react.  If we ‘let go’, who knows what will happen! The fact is, in many cases, we don’t know what to expect when we ‘let go’ of something or someone – but that should not stop us from releasing whatever is holding us back.  There have been a few times when I ‘let go’ of a fear that had me paralyzed – and the result was spectacular!  Whenever I find myself having difficulty ‘releasing’, I think back to those experiences and find that it makes ‘letting go’ easier and freeing.
  3. Create a Self-Care Plan – Schedule “You Time”.  A time when you pamper yourself, do whatever is FUN for you, and honor the spirit and person you are.  Sure we all have demands on our life but we also deserve to enjoy life – even if it’s just a bit each day.

Self-Care is not Self-ish – it’s simply ensures that we are the best person we can be.  Happy, confident parents ensure their children will have a great role model for their future success.  Happy, confident spouses or partners ensure that their relationship stays strong and healthy.  Happy, confident people attract happy confident people.

Julie Starr

Take care of yourself – be happy and confident!